I Don’t Know You, But I Know I Don’t Like You
Henry here today, with a childish rhyme about projection. I just had a sense that everyone was waiting for one.
I do not like thee doctor Fell.
The reason why I cannot tell.
But this I know and know full well,
I do not like thee Dr. Fell.
O.k., it’s not Shakespeare, but it has a point. An unreasonable, sudden dislike of Dr. Fell is not based on his characteristics or his personality. I don’t even know him. It is based on what I imagine I see when I look at him. This is the work of projection. I see what I’m expecting to see, which can make people seem much better or much worse then they actually are.
I cannot only suddenly dislike someone, but I can also fall in love at first sight through the same process. With Dr. Fell, I imagined all the worst things possible about him. With my new love, again my relationship is based on what I imagine, based on projection. The difference is that this time my relationship is based on all the good things that I imagine that the person is.
I know this sounds like some kind of silly game like pin the tail on the donkey, but it is what we all do all the time. That person in the office that we hate, how well do we know them? The one we adore, how well do we know them?
Projection is everywhere. Since it’s happening to all of us all the time, you may legitimately ask how come we do not know more about it. How come it does not appear more in business? That’s a very good question. One of the largest businesses in the world is based on this reality, on the fact that we are projecting good and bad things on people and things. The adverting industry works very hard to encourage and take advantage of our projections, triggering our feelings of inadequacy to sell us a bunch of stuff.
Other places that our tendency to project is used is in the political and entertainment industry. Spin-doctors work non-stop to try to fix their image in our minds so that we will support their people. Our problem is that because of our lack of awareness of our own projections, we are not well defended against this sort of thing.