Paris Hilton - Master Criminal
Good day all, Henry here, I’ll be your content provider today. Years ago when the world felt like a much younger place, I was the director of Pastoral Care in recently constructed supposedly model county jail for two years.
In the jail, inmates would do almost anything to escape confinement. Even this “modern” jail was apparently not an exciting place to spend your time. I remember one inmate in solitary wearing leg braces who kicked so incessantly on the door that he succeeded in separating the steel plates which held the door together. No one even thought this possible.
Another thing that happened five or six times was that an inmate came to me saying that he had swallowed a razor blade. In shock I asked the first one: “Why would you do something so crazy?” The answer was always the same: “To get out of this place.” Apparently going to a hospital with lots of female nurses paying attention to you was worth swallowing a razor blade or two.
At first, the doctor, who was there every day and competent enough that I used him as our family doctor in the community, sent the inmate in a staff car to the emergency ward of the local medical surgical hospital. At the hospital, the staff x-rayed the inmate only to discover that he had indeed swallowed a razor blade. Then they placed him in a unit and waited for the razor to reappear, which eventually happened. The victory on the inmate’s part is that he succeeded in being out of the jail for a week or so and was surrounded by caring females. After several such experiences, our doctor stopped sending such inmates to the hospital and just watched their health as things progressed. Shockingly, the popularity of swallowing razor blades declined sharply after this change in procedure.
Being nervous or worried, ADD, or claustrophobic would have cut no ice with the doctor or the staff of this institution, even though it was considered the best of the breed. It must have taken a masterful manipulation of the judicial system to get Paris the Heiress transferred to the prison hospital.