When Reality Knocks

Greetings all, Steve here. I’ve come to a realization. I’m losing my mind. Now this is not really that big a change, as I’ve never been entirely on the ball to begin with, but I think I may be starting to go completely off the deep end. It’s because I haven’t seen the sun. In months. This is my first full Winter in Vancouver and while, yes, it’s already quite warm here and, yes, it doesn’t get cold here in the Winter and, yes, we’re already have trouble with insects, the fact remains that I haven’t seen the sun since September. Nothing but rain. For. Six. Straight. Months. And its starting to get to me.

Now, my original plan was to simply stop fighting it and loose my mind, which although as a plan it has the advantages of little overhead and no heavy lifting is not ideal. First of all, it assumes that when the sun comes out again that I may come back to some sort of sanity, but this is not a guarantee. Second, my girlfriend, Meghan, is in pretty much a similar state and if we both go insane at the same time, then who’s going to pay the cable bill? You’ve got to think about the cable bill.

So I’ve been hunting around for another method to deal with my growing insanity. It’s quite funny, actually, to be in Canada on the first really warm day in the Spring when all the women come out in their shorts and tank tops and the men celebrate by driving into trees. Still, this heart-warming thought is not enough to sustain one through the long Winter months. So, like all desperate people, I decided to turn to religion.

The problem is that none of the major religions are doing it. I’m not out to badmouth any religion, but I’m looking for instant relief. I need a religion that goes right to the heart of the matter. And that’s when it came to me. I’ve been studying Egyptian history and there was this one king, Ahkenaten, who decided to start worshipping the sun. People weren’t too impressed with him, but I think he was really on to something and I think I might try the same thing.

I think it has a lot of possibilities. No human sacrifice, nothing to memorize and you can worship the sun simply by lying out in the back yard. I think it has possibilities. I’ll give it a try and let you know.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 24th, 2007 at 5:15 pm and is filed under Lifestyle and Technology, General Craziness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.