I Can’t Stand This Person!
Sometimes we hear one partner in a marriage complain: “They never tell me anything. Just as often the partner has an equal complaint: “They never stop talking.” Many couples end up in the divorce courts that start out with similar complaints.
Perhaps they have a fundamental problem which will not be fixed without years of deep therapy, or perhaps it is much simpler. The first partner may simply be quiet by nature. As an introvert they value their silence and need it to get refreshed.
The other partner is probably the opposite. They are not an introvert but are an extrovert. They need to connect to others, and their favorite way to do that is through speech. It is the favorite approach of both that’s driving each other crazy.
Dr. C.G. Jung, who popularized these two words, tells us that Introversion and Extroversion are the two dimensions of personality type which cause the biggest problems between people. When we are faced with this kind of situation, we need to stretch ourselves and try to appreciate that the other person is not out to punish us, they are not being obstinate, they are simply different. We also need to talk this difference over with our partner and try to reach a place where we can be at peace.