Lingerie Lurches Forward
Steve here. Sorry for my long absense, but I signed my organ donar card a while back and the organ people came looking for everything I only had one of, so I had to go underground. I worked at the Complaint’s Department of a major retailer, posing as someone who gave a rat’s ass. It turned out in the end that my organs weren’t in all that good shape, so they let me go.
Cnn.com reports that Saudi Arabia is finally starting to relax their hardline stance on females in the workplace, gradually integrating women by letting them work as clerks in lingerie stores. It turns that, until now, women in Saudi Arabia would have to buy their lingerie from a male. This stance against women working is clearly antiquated and silly and this modest advance should be applauded, but that’s not my concern today. I would like to announce, just in case anybody’s interested, that this had always secretly been my dream job.
From the time when I turned 13, I wanted to work in a lingerie store. It was at this time that, besides starting puberty, I also discovered that there were stores where they sold nothing but women’s underwear. Women’s underwear held unending interest for me, not only because it was worn by females, but also because it was unknowable, an ineffable mystery forever beyond the mental powers of men to comprehend. The lingerie store, therefore, was a place of great mystery, a sort of mystical cave of…, uh, ya know, nice, um, confusing silk things.
Anyway, this seemed to me to be the ideal place to work and, on some level, it’s always still seemed like a good idea, though I’ve never had the guts to apply. In my plan, I saw myself as working in a lingerie store with a little nametag that said, “Steve. Honest Male Opinion.” Ladies would come to me with their potential lingerie purchases and ask for my Honest Male Opinion. I have held quite a number of jobs, but none of them has been as fun as I always imagined this would be. Sometimes I miss the innocence of youth.
Oh yeah, and good on the women of Saudi Arabia, for ever so slowly surging forward into the modern world.