Let’s All Feel Better About Ourselves - Goat and Hamster Edition
Greetings all. Steve here. Well, I’ve been feeling low for a few days. I thought it was just the standard end of term blues, ya know, decompressing from exams and whatnot, but I think it’s something more. But now I realise what’s been going on, I realise what was dragging me down, what’s been making me feel low in the saddle, so to speak. The funny thing is, I think I must have been in denial, because I didn’t even realise what the problem was until the crisis had passed. I suppose it’s often that way, where we can’t deal with something that’s too painful, so we try to pretend it’s something else. But now that everything looks like it’s going to be alright, I can finally admit what the problem was: I was devistated by the news that Britney Spears might break up with Kevin Federline.
Now, before anybody panics, let me just assure all of you that, according to the Association Of Almost-Journalists Who Have No Lives, Britney is considering taking Kevin back, because she already has one failed marriage and doesn’t want another. Um…k. I guess that’s true, if you consider a drunken mistake in Las Vegas a marriage, then, yeah, I can see she’d want to do better the second time around. In any event, this seems like a perfect segue into another installment of: Let’s All Feel Better About Ourselves!
Now, I was feeling a little stupid this morning, when I went in to the Post Office with a small package that my girlfriend and I had made up to send to a friend in Switzerland…and asked if it could be there by Christmas. The lady behind the desk gave me a look that indicated that she hoped that my job didn’t involve using power tools and informed me that my package would not be there by Christmas. O.k., so we were behind the 8-ball there. However, I’m still doing better than two boys in Cambridge England, who put a hamster (since dubbed First Class in a letter and sent it through the mail. Now, to be fair, they weren’t entirely inconsiderate of the creature’s safety and were careful to write ‘Do Not Bend’ on the envolope before they mailed it. Gotta give credit where it’s due.
And they’re still doing better than a boy in Clermont County Florida, who has to go to court to fight zoming laws to keep his pet goats. Apparently the goats help him control his attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (how exactly is unclear from the article, but o.k.) and the city says it’s illegal to keep goats as pets. What a cruel county Clermont must be, full of cruel administrators who take joy in taking away a boy’s goats. Very sad. The county says you can keep ‘dogs, cats, birds, snakes of less than 6 feet, mice, gerbils, ferrets, hamsters, minks, rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, turtles, lizards, iguanas and pot-bellied pigs’…but no goats. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that he needs goats to manage his illness or the fact the county wants to take them away. Suddenly I feel better about myself…though I’m not exactly sure why.
Oh, that’s right. Christmas is almost here:)