Befriending our dreams
“I dreamed that I had a beautiful, extraordinary baby which was a few weeks old, but it was talking clearly and sensibly to me.” Mrs. J.
This is our fifth discussion in our workshop on dreams. If you are only starting here, you would benefit more by going back and reading the other posts. Dreams, as I said in the last post, tend to be in three different levels: The everyday practical dream, the dream which encourages us to complete some task in life, like grow up some more, and the dream that is numinous, or charged with power.
One complicating feature is that these three levels often exist in the same dream. For example, Mrs. J’s dream of babies. This may remind them of their own biological child and their need to nurture it. It may also remind them of their need to be a parent to their own inner child. But beyond that such dream children, like Mrs. J’s child, often carry a numinous, precocious, magical quality. They focus the image of the divine child, and the person’s need to be aware that life always opens doors into the depths with an image of a child.
Carl Jung says that the important issue with dreams is not to critically analyze them, but rather, in James Hillman’s phrase, to “befriend the dream.” This advice is vital and goes against the good old western method of attack, reduce and conquer. The world of dreams is not a world which can be conquered.
What approach then can we take to dreams? Early in my analytical work in New York, I had a dream in which an authoritative voice declared: “It is primarily a question of attitude.” I recommend that saying for your work with dreams. If we have an open, accepting and appreciative attitude then we are able to learn from our dreams.
What are some methods which can help us in our work with our dreams? One of the most helpful things I have done is to work with a therapist or an analyst. It is important to choose someone who will be respectful of the dream work, Ideally someone who has worked for many years on their own dreams.
Most of the time we cannot find someone with that kind of training or experience, so we have to try something else. Another approach is to join a dream group like I have been running for many years. The critical question here is what attitude do the group members have. If they are out to analyze and pigeon-hole, then I would avoid it. Such groups are more into power and control than real helpfulness. If, however, they respect our dreams, and give us a chance to “walk around in them,” offering only the most tentative suggestions, then they can be a real resource.
I appreciate that if you have read these posts so far, this is a subject important to you. I would appreciate hearing your comments about our work so far. What else are you interested in? What would like to hear about?