Talking it out
Even when people need to talk about their concerns, it is often extremely hard for many to do so. People come for therapy, where they know that they have to talk and they still hesitate.
I taught Clinical Pastoral Education for 15 years and know that even clergy, who will be hearing people’s stories over their lifetime, often find it impossible to tell their own story. It seems that we are conditioned to keep our stuff to ourselves.
This is especially bad for people, like police, fire fighters and soldiers, who are in harm’s way. They experience things which put them under enormous stress. Unless they deal with it, it will smolder inside, like a brush fire, until it finally breaks out.
When Swiss Air 111 went down off the east cost of Canada, emergency workers were called in to help. Many had a good sense of how much stress they should put themselves under but also many didn’t. Soldiers and sailors who were in the thick of the attempted rescue, and dealing with the remains and personal effects of the victims, were often unable to allow themselves to talk to helpers such as myself. I am sure that the same thing is happening to service personnel in Afghanistan and Iraq. They are being subjected to enormous pressures and many of them won’t admit to themselves and to others that they are finding it hard and need help.
These soldiers, from all the countries, need to talk to others. Such stories are often too hard for spouses to hear, so they should go to people trained to listen. Many of these people are now in the military, but if you cannot find one of these, soldiers and spouses should get into counseling with someone outside the military.
If you bottle this pressure and these images up, it will almost certainly continue to haunt you the rest of your life. Get it out. Talk to professionals, as well as to each other.
That’s what I think. Does your experience fit with this?