Canadian Drug Laws
An odd-looking guy came up to me on the street the other day and said `Hey man, do you know where I can buy some weed?’ He was about 19 or 20 and didn’t seem terribly swift. I had trouble deciding if he was an unswift person or an unswift narc and it got me to thinking about Canadian vice laws and thinking that things are a little, well, odd, by which I mean powerfully stunned. The Canadian laws on things like drugs and prostitution are distinctly… Canadian. American vice laws are extremely clear and concise and this fact should in no way be diminished by the fact that the War On drugs has been going on longer than the War Of The Roses, only with less practical effect.
I remember in high school there were always a few narcs around and everybody always knew who they were within about ten minutes of their arrival and I’m sure this is the same everywhere. The main distinguishing characteristics of a narc, from what I remember, are as follows:
-You must arrive in the middle of the year
-You must be at least 29 years old
-You must look really out of place and uncomfortable in the high school environment
-You must have a touch of grey in your beard/goatee/forgot-a-spot
-You must get into obvious conversations about drugs with absolutely everyone.
As opposed to American drug laws, Canadian drug laws are a little unclear, meaning interpretation and enforcement differ greatly from region to region. In Nova Scotia, on the East Coast, where I was raised and currently live, drug laws are still enforced very strictly, while in British Columbia on the West Coast, where I am shortly moving, the justice system is so relaxed that not only are drug laws hardly ever enforced for drugs like marijuana and hash, but they’ve started giving people complimentary rolling papers at the airport, a sort of B.C. Tourism gift bag. No doubt this has something to do with the absolutely slamming weed to be found on the West Coast, but even so, Canadian federal drug laws are at least partly to blame.
Apparently, it is legal in Canada to pay a prostitute for sex, but not to solicit one for sex and likewise it is also legal to smoke dope, but it’s not legal to buy it from anyone. This is the powerfully stunned part. People who have legal exemptions to smoke marijuana for medical reasons are sitting in jail for trying to buy it. Drug laws in the U.S. are clear and concise. They don’t work, but at least they’re clear.
There has been an enormous fuss lately about a tunnel that was discovered connecting Langley B.C. and Lynden, Washington State that was used to ferry dope from B.C. into the U.S. The authorities made a huge production over this, hyping it as a huge victory, but, really, it’s nothing new. Americans have been coming to Canada to buy their drugs for some time, so no one should really be surprised.:P