When Reality Knocks

Hello, Steve here. So two of the big cell phone carriers in Canada are going to start charging for incoming text messages. The public howls in dismay. I haven’t heard this much complaining about the government cutting social programs for crying out loud.

Not that I agree with the cell companies. My cell bill has been going up and up for a while now, with always more new and exciting charges they’ve dreamed up. And now they want to charge for me to receive incoming texts?!

Which is really annoying, except that most of the text messages I receive are worthless information. Actually, so are a lot of the ones I send. My boss likes to leave me a phone message at home to tell me that he sent me a text message, which reveals a cell voice message that says he thinks we need to talk by phone. I go to the gym with a friend early in the morning and we text before leaving to make sure that we’ve actually gotten out of bed. And then one of us texts to say that we’re leaving the house and the other responds. And then we text to say that we’ve gotten on the bus and the other responds. If the bus is held up in traffic, one of us might send a text to tell the other to go ahead without them. The other responds that this is unlikely since they are, in fact, on the same bus.

What was I so upset about again?

Henry here. In Oliver Stone’s 1987 film Wall Street Gordon Gekko declares: “Greed is good.” That is quite a different fix on greed to the historic attitude of the church. Greed was always considered by the church to be one of the seven deadly sins. It wasn’t good, it was the fast track to Hell.

When I look at the incredible financial rewards received by managers of funds and banks which have lost billions of dollars, it is clear that greed gets richly rewarded in the modern financial landscape, even if competency doesn’t. These managers walk away rich, even when they have lost astronomical sums.

How astronomical? According to inequalaity.org, the average overall compensation for the 200 C.E.O’s of big American companies was nearly US $12 million. These are the rogues who have lost billions of dollars and thrown the American economy into a tailspin, which may result in a full scale world wide recession, or even a depression.

It is beyond belief. From my point of view as a simple investor, they and their boards should all go to jail. But, of course, they won’t. It will be an extraordinary situation if they even feel or admit their guilt in wiping out millions of people’s real-estate or portfolio value. So the little guy hangs on hopes he has enough for retirement, and that he will not loose his house, and be out on the street.

Seems to me greed is still a major sin and destroyer of people’s lives.

Happy Canada Day:)

Steve here today. Somehow I doubt global warming will really be this fun, but it’s neat anyway.

Sarcastic, witty, political and funny as hell. We could use more people like him. Now we have one less and we’re the worse for it - Steve

Good day, Henry here. Out walking this morning I felt the first real sense that Summer had arrived. The air is warm. The grass is starting to grow. The trees are starting to bud out in leaf. It is good to be alive in the Summertime.

A small part of me that is still a farmer invariably has the fantasy of firing up the tractor and beginning to put in the crops. That was always a good time to be alive. It is really the beginning of the farming year. Farmers put in their crop, hoping this will be a bountiful and profitable year.

Then I came home and read the morning paper which had extensive coverage on the bursting cost of food stuffs. Wheat, corn and rice are exploding in price. A large part of the developing world is feeling the pain of serious increases in the cost of food. The Globe and Mail tells me that a large part of the world doesn’t live with my fantasy of either a bountiful or profitable year.

They report that 485 millions of people earn between 75 cents and 1 dollar US a day, 323 million people earn between 50 cents and 75 cents a day, and 162 million earn less than 50 cents a day. The article goes on to say that there are 11 different areas in the world where there is hunger unrest, where people are literally fighting for food.

One of the demands that is driving up the cost of food for these people on the edge is the cost of biofuels. It sounds to me like the developed world is keeping huge numbers of people on the edge and perhaps creating famine for many, so that westerners can fill up their SUV’S with fuel and continue to devour the largest part of the available fuel supply in the world. Isn’t it time we started to seriously do things better?

Update: {Steve} With the recent flooding in Iowa, a huge amount of corn has been lost and because so much corn is being converted into biofuels (using up much of the overflow supply), it’s going to drive up the price of many grocery items we all need. Well, I guess that’s o.k., as long as people can keep driving their SUVs, right?

Hi folks, Steve here. Sorry about the prolonged absence. We had some major technical issues with our blog which are now fixed. First day back, I present you with some of George Carlin’s new rules for living. Enjoy:)

GEORGE CARLIN’S NEW RULES FOR 2008

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s white peoples version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.Com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days — mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we’re done.

New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, he’ll will be in the morgue. Congratulations,Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the jerk. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a ‘decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low, and One NutraSweet,’ ooooh, you’re a huge jerk.

New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing ‘Enter,’ verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want Cash back, and pressing ‘Enter’ again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you Spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to ‘beef with broccoli.’ The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too exciting.

New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on cold television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell If he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ‘27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum Wage, then for God’s sake don’t pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, ‘Do you want fries with that?’

Hello folks, Steve here. Sorry I’ve been MIA, I’ve been busy trying to get my life in order, career and so on. What a pain all this work stuff is turning out to be. I’ve been thinking a lot about the best way to move forward in life and so I present Rules To Live By, from the immortal George Carlin. If we can’t follow George…who can we? Enjoy!

George Carlin – Rules to Live By

Life is not as difficult as people think; all one needs is a good set of rules. Since it is probably too late for you, here are some guidelines to pass along to your children.

1. Relax and take it easy. Don’t get caught up in hollow conceits such as “doing something with your life.” Such twaddle is outmoded and a sure formula for disappointment.

2. Whatever it is you pursue, try to do it just well enough to remain in the middle third of the field. Keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself and don’t ask questions. Remember, the squeaky wheel is the first one to be replaced.

3. Size people up quickly, and develop rigid attitudes based on your first impression. If you try to delve deeper and get to “know” people, you’re asking for trouble.

4. Don’t fall for that superstitious nonsense about treating people the way you would like to be treated. It is a transparently narcissistic approach, and may be the sign of a weak mind.

5. Spend as much time as you can pleading and impressing others, even if it makes you unhappy. Pay special attention to shallow manipulators who can do you the most harm. Remember, in the overall scheme, you count for very little.

6. Surround yourself with inferiors and losers. Not only will you look good by comparison, but they will look up to you, and that will make you feel better.

7. Don’t buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it’s the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you’re not perfect, something is wrong.

8. If by some off chance you do detect a few faults, first, accept the fact that you are probably deeply flawed. Then make a list of your faults and dwell on them. Carry the list around and try to think of things to add. Blame yourself for everything.

9. Beware of intuition and gut instincts, they are completely unreliable. Instead, develop preconceived notions and don’t waver unless someone tells you to. Then change your mind and adopt their point of view. But only if they seem to know what they’re talking about.

10. Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn’t work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that is stupid and harmful.

11. Always remember, today doesn’t count. Trying to make something out of today only robs you of precious time that could be spent daydreaming or resting up.

12. Try to dwell on the past. Think of all the mistakes you’ve made, and how much better it would be if you hadn’t made them. Think of what you should have done, and blame yourself for not doing so. And don’t go easy. Be really hard on yourself.

13. If by chance you make a fresh mistake, especially a costly one, try to repeat it a few times so you become familiar with it and can do it easily in the future. Write it down. Put it with your list of faults.

14. Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don’t get sidetracked with some foolish “plan.”

15. Finally, enjoy yourself all the time, and do whatever you want. Don’t be seduced by that mindless chatter going around about “responsibility.” That’s exactly the sort of thing that can ruin your life.